Judy’s caregiving journey: Reflections after caring for parents with dementia and Alzheimer’s disease

For Judy Krieg, Account Manager at Lundbeck, her caregiving journey is a testament to resilience, empathy, and the challenges faced by those who take on the responsibility of caring for loved ones. As her story highlights, the emotional toll, practical struggles, and eventual rewards of caregiving coalesced into a role that is familiar to many.

Judy's caregiving began with both of her parents, who showed signs of needing assistance as they aged. Her father lived with vascular dementia, while her mother lived with Alzheimer’s disease and showed signs of agitation in Alzheimer's dementia, a condition that can cause someone to act out in ways that are out of character for them.¹ Symptoms can include verbal aggression, physical aggression, and excessive physical activity.^1,2

“As they grew older, they were both not doing well, but my mother started to regress in many ways,” Judy said. “She was repeating herself, her language was declining, and her hygiene was poor. I could feel she was heading down a difficult path.”

Judy attempted to bring in support including in-home care through insurance, only for her mother to refuse, insisting she could handle everything herself. Despite her mother’s resistance, which persisted for years, Judy took proactive steps to ensure she received the care she needed as her condition worsened.

“I started attending doctor appointments and established myself as a familiar presence with the healthcare providers,” Judy said. “It provided me the opportunity to be an active participant in my mother’s health and raise concerns about her lack of memory and aggressive behavior with the primary care doctor.”

Judy’s experience highlights the importance of communication in caregiving, particularly with healthcare professionals. She often called ahead to medical offices to discuss her mother’s behavior and needs privately, avoiding awkward conversations in front of her mother. This approach proved helpful in navigating the complexities of caregiving. 

“Despite my mother’s initial high-functioning state, repetitive behaviors and memory issues became apparent to me and other family members,” Judy said. “Ultimately, you just have to push through it. The situation wasn’t her fault. It’s not what I had envisioned for her future, but that’s the way it worked out.” 

As Judy recalls, the emotional toll of caregiving was significant and something you must experience yourself to truly understand. She remembers being exhausted and emotionally drained as she navigated her mother’s agitation symptoms, the strain of managing multiple doctor visits and other responsibilities for both of her parents. 

“It was essentially a daily battle that lasted over two years,” Judy said.

One of the other key lessons Judy learned as a caregiver was the importance of support networks, an aspect of her caregiving experience that she didn’t have initially. Judy says it would have been beneficial to connect with caregiver networks or support groups earlier in her journey. 

“I now realize those types of resources are essential,” Judy said. “They provide valuable guidance and a sense of solidarity during the most challenging times. It’s important to have someone to talk to that’s been through it. I would talk to my family members, but none of them knew what to say. They wanted to help, of course, but everybody had their own lives too.”

Ultimately, Judy’s dedication to her parents paid off. Once her mother received proper medication and care, she expressed gratitude to Judy and acknowledged the positive changes in her life. Judy’s efforts ensured both of her parents were in a good place, with access to meals, activities, and the care they needed in an assisted living facility, before they passed away in 2020 and 2021. 

“I am now a proud advocate of caregiving,” Judy said. “I’m glad to be a resource to others who have just started their caregiving journey, including my friends and colleagues. There’s no way I could have put myself in those shoes before my journey on my own. The lessons I learned caring for my mother and father were immense, and I feel these lessons should be passed on to others who are in a similar position.” 

Judy’s story is a powerful reminder of the challenges and rewards of caregiving. Her resilience and proactive approach serve as inspiration for others who may find themselves in similar roles, emphasizing the importance of preparation, communication, and seeking support.